Why Do We Choke?

First off, I must give credit for this to my husband and his obsession with golf for if the golf digest magazine hadn’t been lying around I never would have had this to think about and send on to you.

I’m always saying I can teach technique but I can’t teach guts and if you can muster up a little guts you’ll have success and once you have success it’s not called guts anymore, it’s called doing your job, real estate. Why are some people so successful at this and others drowning? Why, when we know what to do and have a chance do we choke?

To quote Homer Simpson: “Stupid brain!” Your mind means well, but it’s hard wired to sabotage you. Blame it on thousands of years of evolution, the reason literally deep in our brains. The human race has survived because of the adrenaline rush you get when danger is near. There is a call to action.

When our caveman ancestors saw a sabor-toothed tiger, a message of “RUN!” shot from his brain stem through his nerves to his muscles. He fled, survived, and we’re here today. That’s great for out species, but bad for your ability to do your business.

Our minds work the same way today, only prospecting is that tiger and it activates the same danger signals: Your heart rate spikes, you sweat, your knees knock and you literally want to run away. It’s a primitive, primal reaction to fear.

The good news is that it is possible to reprogram your mind. The human brain is an amazingly adaptable thing, and it can overcome this fight-or-flight response by using a three step process.

1) Recognize your anxiety. Don’t deny you’re nervous, or it sneaks up on you. It’s there. Deal with it.
2) Paint a positive picture. Visualization is not mental-game snake oil. It works because see the outcome gives your mind something to focus on, which helps your brain stem send calming, business as usual pulses to your muscles.
3) Close the deal. Make a verbal statement to join in on the positive visual like – “I’d love to list my house with you.” What ever keeps you relaxed and not thinking about the fear factor.


Over the years, without realizing it I have been doing these things. I say things like “I’m an adrenaline junkie” but the truth is when I feel that rising I make it into an opportunity to end successful instead of disastrously. I have taught myself that a challenge is entertaining and ends with success. So I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone today using the tools you learn today: 1) recognize your anxiety, don’t make excesses for it. 2) Paint a positive picture in your brain and 3) Close the deal with a positive verbal statement, the statement you want to hear your client say to you, the relax because today you will be successful.